


Horseback Ride to Hell

by Okami01



Series: Sylvain Week 2020 [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Not Canon Compliant, Past Abuse, Post-War, Sad Sylvain Jose Gautier
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:55:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23015875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okami01/pseuds/Okami01
Summary: CW : past child abuse. Sadness. Sylvain openly confonts his father for the first and last time. Prompts for Sylvain week - Duty, memories
Series: Sylvain Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651549
Kudos: 7
Collections: Sylvain Week 2020!





	Horseback Ride to Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Cw : past child abuse, Sylvain sadness

It's an extremely long horseback ride. Sylvain is exhausted. He is wet from the rain. And it hasn't even started. Well, it has, he'd started horseback riding after all. From Garagg Mach to Faerghus.  
What he was going to do after he got there was a whole other story. But if he didn't go now, he'd never go. If he never went, then all the effort he put in would be for nothing. All the effort that his friends put in. It was exhausting to think about.

Sylvain had to do something. Dimitri hardly knew anything about running a country. Neither did Byleth or Felix. As much as Sylvain didn't necessarily want to do anything anymore, someone had to do something. 

The Lance of Ruin felt heavy on his back. Heavier than his actual weight. The weight of all those who had died. Because of crests, of war, of him. So many lives ended. But maybe those who survived could start something new. Goddess knows he wanted to himself. Maybe just ride off into the sunset and never think of the bitterness of the past again.

It was a pipe dream, for now anyway. This needed to be done now or more people would get hurt, and this has all gone on for long enough already. 

Sylvain rode his horse all through the night, only stopping once because they were both too tired to keep their eyes open. Wouldn't it be ironic, to survive a war only to die in a sleep-deprived horse riding accident?

The Gautier estate was not a sight for sore eyes. There was no comfort to be found in the looming black stone. There had never been, even when he was younger. 

Especially when he was younger When Miklan had been around, tormenting him at every turn. Noble responsibilities, his father's tiresome expectations. Day after day. In some ways, it was almost good because he didn't have to be at home. 

This wasn't his home anymore. He belonged wherever the Blue Lions were more than anywhere else. 

__

Soon enough Sylvain was standing in front of the gate. Then wandering through it. Through rooms, he didn't want to look in and memories he didn't want to remember. 

" Do you know where my father is? Sylvain smiles at a maid passing by.

She's cute. A brunette with pretty blue eyes. She bows. " Hello, Sir Gautier. I'm sorry but your father… the Margrave isn't really here right now.

" Sylvain raises his eyebrow. 

" Well… he just…" She shakes her head." I- I will tell him that you are here."

"I can tell him myself, it's ok." 

She fidgets, not looking him directly in the eye anymore...

He's glad he talked to someone because for a while he felt so out of his mind with rage. Maybe he would have killed his dad. He doesn't know. 

Sylvain moves closer, let's his hand ghost over the girl's waist. " He's in there, yeah?" His eyes flicker down the hall towards his father's study " It's ok," he repeats. " You can tell me."

She makes strangled whimpering noise and nods.  
" E-excuse me then," she says running past him. 

Sylvain laughs and it turns into more of a groan as he keeps walking. 

He's wasted enough time. Lingered to long. It has to be now. 

He gets to the door and a wave of new anger ignites inside of him. It flies open and he huffs. His father is indeed there. Writing at his desk. He gaps at the intrusion, then starts to yell.

" What in the hell is- Sylvain." His eyes are wide. Is he afraid? Good. Sylvain smiles a bit at that. He should be afraid. 

The Lance of Ruin is still on his back. Both a comfort and a curse. His birthright. And despite everything, he's happy for the power.

" I thought about killing you," Sylvain says. " I thought about it a couple of times actually.."

His father stands. Sylvain walks closer. The Margrave takes a step back. 

" I don't think you should have the luxury." Before, in his mind, he was screaming. Breaking things, stabbing stuff. Now, cold angry words fall from his mouth. Calm and bloodthirsty all the same. 

He walks closer now. His father opens up his mouth. Presumably to yell. Sylvain moves and in a swift motion, he covers his mouth with one hand. He takes the lance with another and pushes it to his father's throat.

" If you yell, I'll slit your throat. Do you understand?" The Lance of Ruin pulsates in Sylvain's hand. Next to his father's neck. Almost drawing blood  
He nods. A part of Sylvain wished he hadn't so that he could slit his throat. To slowly squeeze the life from his father's throat. Watch the light fade from his eyes.

But he had come here with an actual purpose.

" Sylvain… what is the matter with you?" His Dad tries to look up into his eyes, pleadingly.

Sylvain wants to laugh. He does. It's a bitter high pitched sound. 

" Where would we even start?"

" I love you. "

" Shut the fuck up. No, you don't. You never have. You love crests. Nobility. Fortune and benefiting off of others' misfortune."

He continues to talk, taking a sharp breath. Thinking of all the hurt.

" After years of abuse and neglect. You shouldn't even talk to me. All the times Miklan hurt me. The times that you completely ignored because I had to be strong. Heavens forbid that I have a normal childhood. As if having or not having a crest is a reason to be cruel."

" I don't think anyone loves you. They love your title, your power. But in the end, you're just a pathetic old man."

" What nerve do you have to talk to me like a-" his father starts to growl.

Sylvain kicks him and he falls to the ground. " Shut up." 

" You have no right. I'll… when the king hears about-"

" If Dimitri heard about this he'd probably be happy. So would the archbishop." Sylvain sneers.  
" You could have tripped and fallen down the stairs. Cracked your head open. Trampled in a riding accident, poisoned- anything. Fortunately… or unfortunately for you… the possibilities are endless."

" You're insane!"

" When he threw me in a well… and Glenn had to come and save me. Or the time when he twisted my arm so bad and I screamed so loud that I couldn't talk for days. All the other things… all the terrible things that you ignored. You knew about them, didn't you? And you did nothing about it. "

" Sylvain… I'm sorry."

Sylvain looks into his eyes. Shakes his head. " No, you aren't. It doesn't matter anyway. That's in the past. And Miklan is dead. Because you drove him to it. 

His father starts to sob quietly to himself. Sylvain doesn't care.

" Disowned at a young age because he didn't have a crest. What is wrong with you? When he became a bandit. … You sent me to deal with it on my own. Did you think I'd get killed there? If it wasn't for the other Lions… maybe I would've.

Our class had to kill Miklan," Sylvain squats down and takes his dad by the collar. " He turned into a crest beast and we had to kill him. I had to kill him. It only seemed fair… He hated me the most after all." 

It's horrible to think about. He thinks about it all the time.

Sylvain stands and sighs. Shaking off the memories. But his dad should know. Even though he probably already does. He's crueler then he is stupid. It was foolish of him to treat Sylvain this way. Sylvain won't have anything bad happen to anyone else. They'd won the war. His friends didn't need any more trouble in their lives. 

"Anyway… this was a long time coming… but it's not what I'm here to do."

"Then what? What do you want? I'll give it to you?" he spits in question.

Sylvain bites back another laugh.

"Get out of our territory. Of our kingdom and never return." He'd gotten caught in the moment before. In the sea of his rage. But Sylvain had planned this out. He'd taken a while to get to this point and he wasn't going to screw it up.

Sylvain looms over his father again. The Lance of Ruin moves slightly as it sometimes does. It's ghoulish gem glow and the low lamplight illuminating his blank, affectionless eyes. 

" Do I look like the noble you already wanted me to be?" Sylvain grins. "Strong, uncompromising and able to allow the suffering of others for my own gain? I know how to fight better than you ever have… The amount of time I've spent defending our country. The number of people I've killed. While you just sat around on your ass."

His father trembles and Sylvain is glad for it. Happy for things to play out the way they have

" You stupid welp of a boy. You should be grateful that I gave you life. You're a noble. You're my son and you'd better start acting like it."

Sylvain laughs again. More yelling. More lies. He doesn't want to hear them. His father tries to stand again and he knees him in the stomach. 

" Shut up and get out of here. I don't care where you go. Only that you live a sad bitter life far away from me and everyone that I actually care about. "  
Sylvain raises his spear. Grips it tightly in his hands. " Or I swear to Serios I will kill you.``

"I- I," 

" Five minutes. That's how long you have. I'd pack something that you can sell." He steps back. Gives his father room to stand. " Go," he growls, lifting his leg to kick him again.

The former Margrave Gautier scrambles up to his feet. He tries to attack Sylvain. Aims for a punch him. Sylvain hits him with the blunt end of his spear. How truly easy it would be to kill him.

" I could tell them that you lunged at me and I had to protect myself."   
Sylvain smirks. " Really though, I can promise you this dear father… I'll take good care of the estate. I'll be a good successor just like you wanted me to."

" You're out of your mind," his dad coughs, clutching his stomach. " You… you don't know what you're saying. I- I'll make your life a living hell. You won't know any peace as long as you're alive."

Which is pretty rich coming from a crying sniffling old man clutching his wounds. Though he does admire his father's inability to back down. To not see when he's been beaten. Or he's just a fool. Maybe they both are. 

" Don't worry, I'm sure you won't. You should take comfort in something though, I suppose. Or you'll knell over dead of a heart attack." Sylvain pushes him.

They stare into each other's eyes. Finally, his dad starts to move, desperately grabbing for items to take. Sylvain watches keenly, making sure he isn't reaching for any posions or weapons. 

They both start walking towards the door out the back. 

The last time Sylvain sees his dad is from the back of his head running out the door. His last memory of him is terrified, upset and choking back tears. Sylvain is ok with that.

He's glad. Even though he's just created a whole new level of work for himself. He'd been groomed from a young age to take this position. It was always his duty. But not now. Not like this.   
Even still, past the anxiety, disgust, and simmering rage. Sylvain is happy. He feels like smiling. Though he probably shouldn't. 

The rain continues to fall. The estate is still dark and irritatingly large. He hates this place. But he might hate it a little less knowing his father isn't here anymore.

" Maybe I'll invite Felix over," he says aloud as he starts to walk down one of the halls. Memories, mostly bad, burning into his mind that he refuses to let overtake him. You can't change the past, no matter how much you want too. It's always there. The future isn't really bright, but it's there now too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd say I'm done writing angst but I'm not 0:  
> Twitter- @Tavitay


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